DQ Clique

So, having quickly adjusted to being the literal bitch of the staff, I was well on my way with my new article the very same day as when I submitted the previous one, by – let’s call it – request from one of the Green Tags and it’s a modest surprise to have request come flying from a different direction than from my leg humping friend, right here. That’s right, not even he was fast enough to match the speed of the creator, if we don’t mind the analogy, the big cheese, the big O, Samwise Gamgi himself!

Right, so the request this time was to go more in depth of my view of the different cliques of DeletionQuality and, from my perspective, explain what signifies those groups in detail. Basically, he asked me to make fun out of all those people who just can’t get it up enough for me to be impressed by the size of it!
Right, moving on!
I will be going from ground zero and up, meaning I’ll start off with the people that makes me want to shoot myself while hanging in the noose already, up to the people I actually admire. If you find that you fit into the earlier categories, and many of you will, I suggest you take this as friendly advice; advice that I will slit your throat and feed you to my dog unless you stop stepping on my toes! I like my toes!

Noob – the notorious group of users that could commit mass suicide for all I care. That would actually make me happy! Unlike Newbie, which I will describe later, noobs are their own race! They have gotten that name as an official stamp to the forehead, marking them as a waste of space and carbon atoms, signifying their uselessness to a rather disgusting result; the death wish of everyone they meet. These people are walking homicides, creating a disgusting alley of fountains, made of the blood from people’s brains, as they go in their merry way. I really hate this group; it’s annoying, smelly, ugly, stupid, full of shit and repulsively unpredictable! Everyone who falls under this category should stay as far away from me as possible or there will be blood on my hands! This group isn’t even included in the food chain; I’d be damned if they even have humanoid DNA!

The Insufficient – the group quite a few members reside in, while calling themselves the title of the clique above, which I’m disinclined to pronounce as the name makes me shed hair! They are basically moronic people who enjoy pissing people off with the use of excessive stupidity or other forms of primitive retardation of general intelligence. However, they are nowhere as bad as the above, nor do I feel that they actually fill the criteria for other more positive groups so they fall in this middle category, though as such doesn’t fall victim to my wrath without a reason. However, they give quite a few reasons, so one might not notice the difference at all.

The Wannabe – These guys are hysterical and infuriating at the same time! They are the people who try way too hard to be accepted or to be an ideal member and end up falling through their own intentions like the bad guy in a morning sitcom. While their attempts to fit in are always laughable their actions aren’t. They have a tendency to scream, shout and insult people for no reason; they go out of bound to correct faults a moderator would’ve handled better and is in term virtually useless and nothing more than a hindrance, like a cow on the freeway; refusing to move. Their desire to be loved is always a treat though and they have their times of intelligence in a sort of Alzheimer’s infected game of Pick-a-boo as they immediately switch back to their normal behaviour afterwards.

In this category there is also the Mod Wannabes. These aren’t all bad members; some of the people included in this clique are considered good members as a matter of fact. They try to play cop and will lash on to any fault anyone does, be it double posting or general retardation alike. While sometimes it’s friendly advice, I’ve seen people bash others for the slightest things and start huge conflicts because of it. While this clique usually does not make me want to shoot myself, some their actions are enough to make me want to burn every book with the phrase “Intelligent life.”

Miss. Mediocre – Yeah, this one pisses me off, much because these people are, in a short description, pussy whipped. Never speaks the truth, thinks everything is awesome and every joke funny and for some reason likes to clog up the Describe the member threads to hear the same compliments over and over. They are just painfully awkward; like someone installed a chip in their brain to sync out their personality, or maybe was abused as a child one too many times. Whatever the reason; they are annoying.

Assholes – it’s funny how entertaining it can be to watch people tear each other to bits; within reason that is, and assholes are a general aspect of DQ. People are mean, that’s it. However, most people who strive to this clique end up like a wannabe. It’s fine that you respect me, but trying to copy my style isn’t going to work for anyone! However, this clique usually just hangs their own intention with barb wires since people go way too far. For crying out loud, can someone please explain to me why a typo is worthy of hundredths of insults? I don’t get that one. 

Newbie – They are new people. That’s it. If a member fits into this clique they are fairly lucky because that means they have a choice on how to be viewed within the community. Usually people are deemed either good or bad right off the bat, but newbie’s are like soap; they just slink out of the hands of judgement until eventually judgement has to bend over to resume the status quo and ends up getting ass raped by some huge black guy… On reflection; scratch that part.

To translate, since they get such a big hardon of being enigmatic, it’s hard to actually make an opinion about them. So I reckon it’s a middle ground, a sort of limbo between opinions.

Member – Holy shit, haven’t we reviewed a single member yet? Well, we have, but this is a bit different because while you’d probably define member as being a person who filled out the registration form, I define member as being a respected member of the community; not the site. You know that forum stands for social gathering, right? It should be pretty dang obvious that you’re not a member until you are actually apart that community. That, however, does not mean that people have to like you but in that case you’ll probably fall into the aforementioned categories. This is not a clique much since even an idiot can pop up from nowhere and display a respectable opinion so what I mean so say is that this group is the run over the mill chair we all have to sit in eventually. Whether it’d be a step down from your ordinary group or a step up doesn’t matter; we all share it.

Admins – Yeah because after some research I’ve noticed that administrators are treated and act completely different to the rest of the members and even the moderators. So as a clique, it’s just above average, even though the administrators are all awesome.

Team Ironic – this group is probably one of my favourites and for some reason is one of the most hated cliques on DQ. These people are mean; these people are horrible; these people are freaking awesome! While everyone is kissing ass for no reasons these guys flips you off and tells you the truth, much to people’s dismay which only increases the list of members in Miss. Mediocre, but also allows for some top notch internet comedy! I’d reckon that I’m a member of this clique myself. However, as a clique, it’s a bit on the odd side. A lot of people strive to come here which sort of puts to shame when they fail and make the rest look bad.

Comedians – Funny people are funny! Who would’ve guessed? I’m completely stunned.

Mr Nice Guy – Hey, I’m not a robot am I? I like nice people, as long as they have some kind of intellect to display that is. Though there’s a difference between being nice and being a brown nose, so these people are nice at the appropriate times and when they have to they bite hard, like a coiled snake! Rawr!

Victory – Yeah, you saw this one coming! I’m my own clique because I’m just that awesome. I’ll be damned before I join the flow and cease my campaign of ever growing greatness! Props to the V-man for being awesome!

That’s it. I realize that some members are so schizophrenic that they are going to have a hard time to fit themselves in a clique because really, I wrote this article with key members in mind. Hence, some are going to have to be in several of these groups while some might not find that they fit in at all. If that be the case, maybe you should follow my lead and break away from titles and labels, you copy cats!